the crappy thing is not being able to stop thinking that everyone hates you. It’s seriously eating at me. and the thing is they probably do because my suspicions are usually right. *cries self to sleep for the rest of her life*

My oldest friends boyfriend really hates me and I try not to let it affect me, but sometimes I just want to cry and vanish because its an awful feeling knowing that that person can’t even be in the same room as you or that everyone knows why he does and you think they agree with him. it makes you feel so small and alone. I hate this feeling. And he won’t let me apologize, he probably never will. And despite the fact that I should hate him, I don’t because he’s actually a nice guy. 

I don’t even know what someone does in my position. I can’t talk about it with anyone because that’s how I lost one of my friends already. 

And I can’t help but think: Am I really that awful of a person? I try to be as nice as I can and generous, but I guess sometimes that comes off as clingy and annoying. I just.. I want a fresh start. I would sell my soul for a fresh start at life right now because its all becoming very crappy.


my talents include stress eating and falling in love with people that will never love me back


i am genuinely paranoid that everyone secretly hates me and thinks i am really annoying and ugly and is pretending to be my friend and it’s all part of some big joke

me: that will be $15.50
customer: jesus christ, do I get a panda with that?

Drinking wine and watching Mulan because it’s the 16th anniversary of it <3